Why I Hate Lori
by Sir Leon of Camelot
Summary: I am outraged by her incompetence. CH3: A tribute to Rick and Shane's bromance.
1. Why I Hate Lori

Of the entire group in Walking Dead, it seems that there is one,

Who never seems to know the way to get simple things done.

For zombies smarter than her lumber through the woods and fields,

While Lori with her mousey hair, no useful weapon wields.

...

For reasons unknown to the fans, Rick still refrains from murder;

Although at the first chance we'd get, we'd really love to shoot her.

Two eps in, already, we can see her every failing,

Oh how we'd love to see the day she's bit (intestines trailing).

...

One day she yells at Shane, tells him not to go near her son,

(Ignores the fact the little turd has stolen Daryl's gun).

Five minutes on, when Shane's too busy to put time aside for Carl,

She forgets what in (line 1) she said, and starts to snap and snarl.

...

When Rick goes out and any hold-up could have made him late,

Instead she makes us pour out torrents of regret and hate.

For the stupid thing just steals a car and out she goes to search,

We take great pleasure in the crash's every flip and lurch.

...

Yet out she comes, not even scratched, to find herself a walker.

She has no skill, despite her words, she is only a talker.

Although to our annoyance the unruly thing was found,

We find with lingering hope that zombies almost knocked her to the ground.

...

No wonder her young son is such an arrogant young brat,

With not one ounce of brain or simple etiquette at that.

Instead, to our immense outrage, he gets poor old Dale killed!

And o'er the brink tolerance goes, for it was already filled.

...

With great distress we find that she is trying to kill her baby,

About whom, may I just point out, the father is a "maybe".

As if this isn't bad enough, does she even tell Rick?

Oh no, she simply ploughs right on, the slow dim-witted stick.

...

She shouts and angsts but stop and think - what on earth does she do?

Besides cause trouble, conflict, death - is she that useless too?

Indeed, despite her many fails, her stupid acts, her child,

She is of no use - you may be sure, this does get all fans riled.

...

Carol? She may not shoot a gun, but at least she does help out.

Her child did know some discipline, I've never heard her shout;

But Lori is a simple fail, an utter useless pest.

She better get killed off this season - oh, that would be just the best!

...

And here I end my rant although I could go on forever,

In simple words I know to say: there is no hope left for her.

Oh, not her life, because we know (grr) that it will be preserved,

But because the violent death avoided is very well-deserved.

* * *

**A/N: Please note that no offence is intended by this poem. Like many fans I just find Lori a tad irritating. All in good fun :)**

**Thank you and reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.**


	2. A Tribute to Dale

**A TRIBUTE TO DALE**

Atop the RV, with a rifle (you bet),

And a tourist hat perched on his head,

There once stood Dale, though, I say with regret,

He is (alas!) now lying dead.

...

For as they often do with the ones we admire,

Dale suffered a violent and untimely death.

He tried to help Daryl: "Andrea, don't fire!"

And surely his friendliness reassured Beth.

...

He was one of the few who could tell Shane had motives,

He determined to keep humanity intact.

He generously shared his knowledge of locomotives,

Dale was pretty awesome. And that is a fact.

...

Unfortunately, he was killed in season two,

While wandering through the fields close to the farm.

He was so ripped apart no-one knew what to do -

How hard it was during that scene to stay calm.

...

And so here is his tribute, not nearly enough,

To satisfy all the things Dale did for the show.

Not once was he nasty, rude, cruel or gruff;

Throughout series three I will miss him, I know.

...

For the old man atop the RV, with the rifle,

Is dead now, the others have all just moved on.

And although they surely all miss him a trifle,

Nothing can make up for the fact Dale is gone.

* * *

Author's note: Thank you to all those who reviewed last time: Alexandria104, Nerd91, MarionArnold, , and MistressDrusilla1860! One again, any reviews and constructive criticism will be much appreciated :) Thank you for reading!


	3. Brothers No More

**BROTHERS NO MORE**

With the end of season two there came the sad annihilation,

Of the greatest bromance fandom's ever known!

But following this horrible and tragic bro destruction,

The Rick and Daryl BroTP has somewhat grown.

...

Look back to that fateful ep where Carl was shot (and dying).

Hershel was fairly iffy about Grimes-the-younger's fate.

All hope was lost, it seemed, and Rick's frayed nerves were close to frying.

It seemed Carl would die while all they did was watch and wait.

...

But Shane? He went off to the school, despite the many walkers there.

He killed countless zombies with his gun and knife,

And although he killed poor Otis then went and shaved off all his hair,

It seems without a doubt that Shane saved Carl's life.

...

When Rick and Randall capered off without a second glance,

It seemed that they were leaving Shane to die.

Stuck in a bus with walkers Shane was quaking in his pants,

But back came Rick to save his bro's behind.

...

One day, however, it appeared that Shane had had enough.

He produced a gun and pointed it at Rick.

Rick screamed "Damn you!" (and then yelled out some other random stuff)

And a knife into his friend he then did stick.

...

This tribute is for Rick and Shane - the bromance that once was.

We've all missed the latter since that day he was slain.

And although I still enjoy the show it's not the same because,

It's gone. The BroTP of Rick and Shane.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who read the last chapter, especially **rampantly-ooc, Phasmidfan, Vickygreen, PrintDust, LaciL, MarionArnold, FeedHimAHammerCrapOutNails **and the anonymous guest. **

**Thanks for reading; reviews and concrit are greatly appreciated! :)**


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